i-l-y

"I Love You" means that I accept you for the person that you are and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I do not expect perfection from you-just as you do not expect it from me. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you when you're in a bad mood or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you're down-not just when you're fun to be with. 'I Love You' means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you or them-asking in return only that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, and hoping that you feel the same way for me.

i hate love

have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It's make you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, wanders into your stupid life.... you give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination . Not just in the mind. it's a soul-heart, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I Hate Love.

i will

I will always love you. When this is white, I will still love you.

When the smooth softness of youth replaced by the delicate softness of age, I still want to touch your skin.

When your face is full of the lines of every smile you have ever smiled,

of every surprise i have seen flash through your eyes, when every tear you have ever cried has left its mark upon your face,

I will treasure you all the more,

because I was there to see it all I will share your life with you and I will love you until

The last breath

when you lose someone

how do you deal with a broken heart?

You cry and you scream and you act pathetic. You skip out on shower and lay in bed for days on end. You have pity parties. You get irritable and you push everyone away. You cry in bed, you cry in the shower. You let your heart ache. You let the pain throb and pulse through your entire body. You blame them, you blame yourself, you blame the world.You exhaust yourself with "what if I did this.... would we be together?" you pretend you are getting better, only to have a relapse. You drink irresponsibly, in hopes that you'll forget them for one night. However, this will only backfire and you'll end up crying harder and trying to drunk dial them. you consider giving up on life. You gather the strength to get up and take a shower, only to break down once you start the water. You attempt to completely remove them from your life, you attempt to bring them back into your life. You can't bear being around anyone or anything, because everything around you reminds you of them. You watch romance movies and listen to love songs, then you listen to I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor. You have your good days and your bad days. You distract yourself at times, and other times you sit semi comfortably with your misery. You wait for them to come back, no matter how unrealistic that is. You wait until one day you wake up and the sun shines a little different. The wind grazes you and there's a slight spring in your step. One day you catch yourself laughing genuinely, and thing seem okay. You go out with friends and family again, except now you're not distracting yourself anymore. You still have those Saturday nights when you sob while watching The Notebook while wondering if they'll ever come back. But the feeling doesn't last. You wake up on Sunday and feel alright again. Happiness will grow again, it just takes strength and patience.

dear you

Dear You,

         There's so much I want to say to you, but I'm not sure where I should begin. Should I start by telling you that I love you? Or that the days I've spent with you have been the happiest in my life? Or that in the short time I've known you, I've come to believe that we were meant to be together? I could say all those things and all would be true, but as I reread them, all I can think is that I wish with you now, holding your hand and watching your exclusive smile.
         In the future, I know I'll relive our time together a thousand times. I'll hear your laughter and see your face and feel your arms around me. I'm going to miss all of that, more than you can imagine. You're rare gentlemen  and I treasure that about you. In all the time we were together, you never pressed me to sleep with you, and I can't tell you how much that meant to me. It made what we had seem even more special, and that's how I always want to remember my time with you. Like a pure white light, breaktaking to behold.         I think about you every day. Part of me is scared that there will come a time when you don't feel the same way, that you'll somehow forget about we shared, so this is what I want to do. Wherever you are and no matter what's goin on in your life, when it's the first night of the full moon -like it was the first time we met- I want you to find it in the night time sky. I want you to think about me and the week we shared, because wherever I am and no matter what's going on in my life, that's exactly what I'll be doing. If we can't be together, at least we can share that, and maybe between the two of us, we can make this last forever.
        I love you, and I'm going to hold you to the promise you once made me. If you come back, I'll never let you go. If you break your promise, you'll break my heart.